


Reflection of A Silver Moon

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-11
Updated: 2008-07-17
Packaged: 2017-10-07 04:31:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	1. Chapter 1

What is it about golden eyes?

They pull you in draw you within and never let go. His golden eyes smile, frown, worry, they just plain emote. They are not really golden. More of warm amber but near the full moon turn golden. The process is mesmerizing to watch. I’m one of the few who will ever get notice.

Golden eyes fool and fray the heart. My excuse for that fateful night: I didn’t think….

\--

_“You were the one person Sirius—the one person who would never hurt me. The only one I trusted completely and fully. James and Peter, they don’t mean as much to me as you did…do.” Tears fall down his face freely as he looks at me brokenly._

“If they did this, I would probably forgive them. On basis of stupidity and hostility based on ignorance. But not you—never you. You knew what I felt for him!!” his voice now blatantly thunderous. I was never more thankful the dorm was empty as I did in that moment.

“Why?" I could see his legs shaking as his knees began to give way, "Sirius, t-tell me now…please…just—WHY?!” he fell down to the floor dejectedly as if all strength was sapped from him in the uttering of that sentence.

I had nothing else I could say. ”Moony, I—” I tried to placate him with empty words.

He wasn’t having it.

“—No!! Don’t call me Moony, just tell me WHY Sirius!! I don’t want anything else from you.”

\--

So I lied to him.

I never told the truth.

I blamed it on my lack of forethought. He was quick to comeback with the fact that I never think at all.

I have just cost myself the most important friendship I have or ever will have in my life. The real reason is…do you really want to know?

Do you?

Do you want to know what would drive a person to attempt murder, because that is what it was, murder; I almost took a life.

Most people claim they would die for the one they love, I would _kill_. Killing is so much harder to do than dying. You have to live with yourself after the killing. Plus, it doesn’t really help. But I would do it.

I attempted to.

He loved him. My golden eyed angel loved the greasy snivelling bat.

That was what ran through my mind.

When I saw the greasy bat and he asked where, had the utter nerve to ask where _my _Moony was, I knew in that moment; he had to go.

I wanted to prove that no matter the declarations of love, it was I who knew Remus, better than he did. Remus trusted _me _with his dark secret. He knew nothing of furry little problems and irritable werewolves. I dealt with that. I ran with him in the night. With the full moon lighting our path to adventure. I had that privilege. He did not.

He did not.

Now...

Neither do I.

-x-


	2. Reflection of A Silver Moon

"He. Is. An. Idiot." Remus asserted firmly.

"Yes, a very astute observation," James conceded, "But that idiot is my best friend, our best friend, your best friend; incidentally, you’re my best friend too, I don’t want to—no, I refuse to lose any of you." He was trying to get Remus and Sirius talking again.

It was Halloween, a normally exorbitant time for the four friends filled with pranks and schemes. Unfortunately for the first time in their whole marauding career, there was calm. It was eerie. It was wrong. It was simply unnatural in James opinion.

Two weeks into the school year, Sirius royally fucks up, and this is where they end up. A disjointed group, with him in the middle—choosing between a twin brother, Sirius might as well be, and a brother, Remus is more like a big brother really, while Wormtail looks nervously between the two as if the world will cave in if they so much as look at each other.

“Please, Moony,” he tried again, “For me.” _Might as well try the guilt trip, always worked in the past._

Remus sighed cursing James' dramatics, "Fine, you melodramatic prat," he managed with a glare, "As low as pulling the guilt card was,” he took a deep breath, “He can sit with us--no _you_, at meals. I refuse to sit next to him or across from him--and don't even think about getting us to talk. The sight of him makes me want to hurl hexes at him till I'm blue in the face and he's in another dimension." Glaring at James, he picked up his books then stalked out of the common room.

James let out a sigh of frustration. A squeaky sound came from his right.

"What, Peter?" he snapped. Lifting his head out of his hands he looked at Wormtail and winced at the hurt and subdued look on his face and amended, "Sorry, it's just this whole thing with Moony and Pads. Damn Sirius!” He slammed the table with his fists, “Why'd he have to be such an idiot, I mean honestly?! Snivellus! Why, oh why?" His voice rising to a wailing octave causing heads to turn in the common room.

"Sorry, James." Wormtail let out. "I was just going to say that I think I'm going to follow Remus. He's the best chance I got to pass McGonagall's test tomorrow. I can't fail another one or it is remedial classes till Christmas." He looked at James as if he was afraid of his reaction. He was. He should be. James had been a walking time bomb lately.

The reason for all the conflict happened to be coming down the stairs and towards them. Peter managed to pipe out a quick greeting and stumbled out of the common room to find Remus.

“James.” Sirius greeted flatly.

“Sirius.” Responded James, just as flatly.

Sirius opened a book Remus had given to him for Christmas, For The Idiot Trying: The Most Dangerous Quidditch Tricks &amp; Feints, ignoring the holes being bored into his head by James' glaring. That is until his best friend gave him a smack on the head.

“Oy!” Sirius jumped straight up dropping his book on the table and holding his head. “What the hell?!” he exclaimed glaring at James.

James calmly replied, “I could ask the same question of you." He gestured next to him, "Sit your arse back down, idiot. We have to talk.” Reluctantly, Sirius sat down, _across _from James just in case he tried to hit him again.

“Okay, talk.”

James filled him in on the new arrangements.

“So, he will let me sit at meals with you?” He asked, doubtful that Remus would forgive him this fast.

“No, stupid, he won’t _let _you do anything. He simply will not hex you into the next dimension if you are near him. However, and this was to be _explicitly _explained to you, you are not to speak to him.” James winced at the obvious hurt in Sirius’ eyes, but hardened himself with the thought that he deserved all of it.

“Great,” he said dejectedly, “So I basically have to shut up the whole time.”

James almost went to the trouble of reaching over and smacking Sirius again, “No, Padfoot. You can talk to me and Wormtail. Just not Moony. Now stop being an ungrateful prick and appreciate his kindness. Moony’s hexed me before. Not fun. And he wasn’t even that angry with me. Imagine what he could come up with especially for you.” Smiling as Sirius visibly shuddered, he continued. “Now think about _not_ experiencing that at every meal. You can’t keep eating in the kitchens.”

Sirius sighed dismally. James was right. He should make the gesture and appreciate any grace Remus gave him. He sighed again. Besides, the kitchens were boring, even with elves rushing to his every need. It just wasn’t the same as coming down with James for a quick snack or with Moony for a chocolate fix. Hell, he even missed Peter annoying him.

“Fine,” he conceded. “Next you’ll tell me I have assigned sitting.”

James just eyed him pointedly.

“What?! Are you kidding—” But seeing James’ anger rising in his cheeks was wise to keep it to himself. “Lovely. Let me guess, anywhere but across or next to him.”

James nodded curtly.

“Great. Just, bloody wonderful!!” He ran a hand through his dark locks.

James annoyed at Sirius’ attitude continued, “This is your entire fault you know.”

“Thank you for stating the devastatingly obvious.”

Ignoring his friend, James relentlessly went on, “If you had thought through your idiocy for just ten seconds, this would not have happened. You wouldn’t be sitting in assigned seats. You would still have Remus as a best friend. There would be no tension. He wouldn’t want to hate you. We would have Halloween pranks. Wormtail and I wouldn’t have to choose between our best friends, and I, and listen because this is the bloody important one, I wouldn’t be losing my freakin’ mind!!” He had managed to stand up straight and glower at Sirius menacingly all the while his voice getting louder to point of hysterics due to the fact he'd forgotten to breathe through his tirade.

He sat back down after noticing the glares coming from all around the common room, particularly one from a certain red head. He regained his breathing and finished in a much lower voice. “Fix this. Fix this. Damn it, mate. Just...fix this.” He then stood up and walked out of the common room for a walk before curfew, not that he cared about rules, but he needed to blow off some steam.

Sirius who had not said a word throughout James’ lecture knew his best mate was right. He knew it the moment he had seen Remus’ golden eyes flash with pain at the sight of him. He knew it when James couldn’t even look at him. He knew it when Dumbledore’s normally twinkling eyes stared hard at him cold and icy. He knew it when Snape’s obsidian orbs bore into him with unbridled hate. He knew it when not even Peter spoke to him. He knew it when he ate, when he slept, when he breathed for Merlin's sake. Restating it did nothing more to him. It hurt bad enough already.

He looked up when he heard someone sitting down across from him. Raising his head just enough to see if it was James come back to hex him, he was startled when he was found himself caught in an emerald gaze.

“Evans?” He stated a bit surprised.

“Black.” She responded coolly.

“You did a bad thing,” she continued. Sirius groaned. “If you’ve come to bitch at me also, please know that I can be very selective with my hearing, and since I know all it’s my fault, your words fall on deaf ears, my dear.”

Lily scoffed. “Even when in the trenches, you still wit it out.”

She took a deep breath and leaned across the table. “It's unsettling, and not just to you lot. The school has been off for more than a month. Apparently, Hogwarts can’t seem to run smoothly without the Marauders and their idiocy. Merlin knows what will happen after you graduate. _Peeves _is quiet for bloody hell’s sake! McGonagall is giving tests out like we have NEWTS tomorrow and Dumbledore’s eyes, normally blinding, have been dead and dull.”

She took a deep breath and trudged on, “The first years normally afraid of being pranked are walking around heads high and mouthing off to upperclassmen. The second years are feeling unsteady. Third years are going crazy. Fourth years are acting like second years. Fifth years suddenly appoint themselves prank masters. Don’t even let me get started on our year. Seventh years are just walking around watching the school fall apart. You guys are the balance, for whatever reason. Believe it or not, because I sure don’t. I guess it’s something to do with the levity considering this entire buzz about this Dark Lord or whatever.”

Another deep breath.

“Now I don’t know what you did. Remus will not tell me. But whatever it was, it must be bad for Remus to be this angry. Now short of killing someone, I would think he could forgive you for anything. So you are scaring me if you did something to equal murder.” She put one of her hands on top of his, “May I suggest chocolates and begging. In grotesque amounts. Both, I mean. Most of all be sincere don’t lie to him. He always seems to know anyhow. Rely on the bond you to share to get you through this one. I have always thought that the friendship you four have is nothing short of amazing, if not just a bit corrupting. Impress me." She patted his hand and stood to join her friends at the other end of the normally loud common room now disturbingly quiet.

-x-


	3. Reflection of A Silver Moon

“Why do men have to be so damn stubborn?!” an exasperated voice asked to no one in particular.

It was a calm Sunday morning, belying the overall atmosphere at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Lily was escaping the overall oppressive mood in the castle and was sitting in an enclave of rocks near the lake.

“Stubbornness is like a necessary quality in being a man isn’t it?!” still asking no one in particular, she was particularly startled when she got an answer.

“We happen to take pride in achieving the highest standards of stubbornness.”

Lily turned toward the smooth voice, “Ah, Severus,” she greeted and smiled amiably, “Taking a walk?” she asked.

He turned off the path and sat down by her, “Of sorts.”

“It’s odd isn’t it?” he asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

“What?” Lily asked still staring at the out at the placid lake.

“How normal everything is.”

Lily turned to face her friend with a worried frown on her face. “Since when are you so philosophical, Severus, channeling Thomas Hardy are we? I knew I gave you too many muggle books to read," she joked trying to alleviate the oppressive mood that had suddenly fallen.

He snorted, “As if.”

He let out a loaded sigh. “Too normal. There are worlds falling apart. Hearts torn in two. Trusts broken.” He sighed once more, “It shouldn’t be like this. The sun shouldn’t be out, the lake shouldn’t be calm. It just shouldn’t.”

Lily’s eyes shone with worry for Severus. Never in the time she had known him was he so...resigned. He was spirited, in his own way, with his sharp wit, brilliant mind, amazing potions skills, and an intense hate for Sirius and James. But never in her time knowing him had he been so dull, so mundane, so torn down. It broke her heart to know that yet another fire was extinguished by love. It broke her heart even more to know that another good friend of hers was suffering with intense guilt and hurt coupled with betrayal and anger. Worse still, she didn't know what exactly had gone wrong.

She rested her head on him with a sigh "Maybe to show us that life still goes on. That even though everything hurts, the earth still spins," A drop of water hit her face. "and the rain still falls." she finished. She looked up and noticed that the weather had abruptly changed, as if in answer to Severus’ mood. The darkening sky gave her a hint as to the coming rain and she and Severus got up and walked towards the castle.

A lone figure was walking toward them; head hung low, shoulders stooped as if the weight of the world was upon them. Neither party noticed the other until they almost collided.

“Remus!”

“Lily!”

“Severus?”

“Lupin.”


	4. Reflection of A Silver Moon

“Well,” Lily nervously laughed, “This isn’t awkward at all.” Trying to lift the tension that had heavily descended upon them.

Her stomach gave a lurch as if there were dragons having a brawl in her gut as she looked back and forth between the ex-lovers.

Their eyes locked in a battle of wills; one pair pleading, the other denouncing.

Remus spoke first. “Lily,” his eyes never leaving Severus’, “Could you give us some privacy?” he asked. Lily nervously responded, “Sh-sure. Um…Severus, I’ll be in the library. See you, Remus.”

Neither of the boys replied.

With one last worried look she left but yet again she wasn’t noticed. The boys looked for all the world as if nothing but that moment and each other existed.

Eons of silence seemed to pass. In reality, it was only seventeen seconds.

Once again showing that amazing Gryffindor courage, Remus began. “Can we talk?”

Severus was silent.

Remus sighed, “Severus, please,” he begged.

A silent glare was all he got for his efforts, but in true Gryffindor form, ploughed on determined to get through it all. “Fine. I’ll talk you’ll listen.”

A light drizzle began to fall.

“I don’t believe in too late. I believe in better late than never.” He took a deep breath, “I hurt you, and I get that. But I was scared and in love. Very dangerous and potent combination which leaves an incredulous amount of room for damage. I'm a werewolf. I should have told you. It’s just, we both know that the world we live in is torrential and not exactly tolerant to beings of my nature.”

He took a step closer to Severus.

“Please just understand where I'm coming from. Please…Severus, just plea-”

“Don’t.” Severus cut him off. “Just…don’t.”

The rain fell slightly harder, now stinging their faces.

They both ignored it.

“Don’t beg.” He elaborated, “I have already lost too much faith in you, at least maintain some semblance of dignity.”

“Severus, I-”

“My turn to talk. You listen.” He inched closer to Lupin. “You say you love me,” he scoffed, “It means nothing—absolutely nothing to me. I trusted you. I told you things I could hardly admit to myself. I committed my trust to you. In you!! But you threw it away, right in my face. Every month we were together, a summer apart, and back again; you had a chance and you blew it!! You claim to love me,” he sneered, “But you don’t know the first thing about love. You are just an attention starved monster.”

Remus sobbed quietly.

“Why should I feel sorry for you? Forgiving? Deal with it. The world is judgemental, believe me every Slytherin that ever breathed knows, you claim to know what it feels to be an outcast, you have no bloody sodding idea.” He hissed.

He pushed past Remus and started to walk away, but he turned back. “Oh, that load of bullshit you just gave me, not a ‘sorry’ was mentioned. None. Don’t bother saying it now. Or I swear, no matter how much I lov_ed_ you, I will hex you into lupine mush. From now on just stay away from me!”

Remus was openly sobbing now, but Snape went on mercilessly.

“We never happened. I would never be with a creature so base and below me. All you are to me is a freak who tried to kill me. And I will hate you; I will hate you for destroying the last piece of good I held. My last hope died in that shack.”

Remus fell to the ground, the rain now falling without abandon.

“I hope that as you live your pathetic excuse of a life, you will know that you were responsible for sucking the life out of another. Nothing better than a dementor. Don’t talk to me. Don’t think of me. Don’t even look at me. Because for me,” he bent down to hiss into Remus ear in a cold, chilling voice, “I see nothing but a monster, worth nothing to me. I guess too late does exist after all.”

He planted a mocking peck on the shell of Remus’ ear and straightened up and left Remus shivering, shaking, and sobbing in the unforgiving rain.

He did not turn back. He did not look back.

Thunderstorms raged and ranted at the shaking form. Salty tears mixing with the unforgiving rain. If one looked up at the castle, you might see a dark figure looking down at the shuddering form, and then again if you blink, you might not.

-x-

**A/N:** *hides from rotten veg* I did not look to make Remus a wimp! Keep in mind that this is Hogwarts, he was still quite shy and that the world hadn't quite fucked him over, at least not completely.


	5. Reflection of A Silver Moon

Sirius walked aimlessly throughout the castle taking pleasure in the clashes of thunder and lightning that ripped through the castle illuminating the empty corridors in ghastly light.

He found himself in the astronomy tower ambling aimlessly, not caring whether or not he would get wet or lighting would strike him. He walked up to the ledge and looked out across Hogwarts. From his vantage point he felt power coupled with helplessness. He reached his right arm as if trying to grab the sky just as a bolt of lightning shot through the sky making him feel god-like—an angry god with no more worlds left to destroy. He climbed upon the ledge and lifted his face to the sky relishing the rain beating down on his face angrily as if in vengeance.

Twice he almost slipped and plummeted to his death.

Twice he thought of ending it right then.

Twice he righted himself.

Twice he wondered what was holding him back.

“Don’t you dare.” He heard a cold voice slice through his thoughts. He turned his head toward the voice, and almost fell off in shock at who it was. He unsteadily righted himself and got off the precarious ledge.

“You don’t get to escape this. You don’t get to fall apart, and you damn well don’t get me to feel sorry for you!”

The owner of the voice turned around, his back to Sirius’ shaking shocked form.

“No dying. No escape.”

Sirius wondered if they were talking more to themselves than to him as the person strode out from the rain and back into the castle.

A clap of thunder shook Hogwarts.

\--«§»--

Sirius made his way back to the dorms. He tersely gave the Fat Lady the password as she glared at him for rousing her from her nap. He rushed through the common room and straight up to the dorms.

He opened the door to their dorm, and slammed it closed, and leant on it. He heard soft breathing and looked around to see Remus sitting curled up in the middle of his bed with a book whose pages weren’t turned or its words read.

The random lightning broke the soft glow around Remus that was created by the candles. He'd never thought his heart could break and heal at the exact same time, now he did.

Without uttering a word, paying attention to his near hypothermic body, Sirius made his way to the bathrooms to change, stopping by his trunk to get his pajamas.

\--«§»--

After finally getting warm and dry from the shower and a change of attire, Sirius was feeling brave. He went to stand at the foot of Remus’ bed, who did not look up but stared at his knees curled into his chest; the book had been long abandoned after a futile attempt to concentrate.

Sirius took a deep breath, prayed for strength to whatever deity was listening and plunged into the icy waters that were Remus’ disposition towards him.

\--«§»--

“I want to talk to you.”

Remus didn’t look up.

“It’s been two months of hell, for all parties involved. I'm sorry. I know that I have said it over and over again, and I would for the rest of my life, but I miss you. I miss my best friend.”

Remus still didn’t look up.

“I lied. Remus, I lied to you about the reason I set Snape on you.” With no response from Remus, Sirius was getting irate. “Damn it, Remus! I’m sorry, I wanted to shock him, maybe even eliminate him.”

Still, Remus was resolute in silence and apathy.

They fell into a heavy stagnant silence for a while when suddenly Remus asked, “I know you wanted to hurt him, hurt me, whatever. I know you’re sorry. But I don’t give a damn about that right now.” He continued all the while sounding as if he was just commenting on the weather, “I want to know, _why_? Give me a why, Sirius. Why are you sorry? Why kill Severus? Why destroy my sliver of happiness? Why? Why? Why?” he set his eyes at Sirius, “Tell me something I don’t know.” His eyes fell back to his knees.

Sirius stared, stunned by Remus actually speaking to him. “I-I…What I mean is-” he trailed off when he realized he would just be stammering.

“I never meant to destroy your happiness. Quite the contrary in fact. I wanted to get Snape away from you. I was so sure that he would hurt you, that I would have done anything to protect you.” Sirius bowed his head in shame and continued, “He interfered." Was as simple as an answer as he could get out, "It wasn’t just _us _anymore. You started going to the library end of fifth year, and not to study for O.W.L.S. either. Even with the beginning of this year you had already started not showing up for our prank meetings. You were neglecting us for that greasy git,” he managed his voice hardening at the end.

Remus snorted, “So you wanted to kill Severus because I just wasn’t available at your beck and call anymore?” his tone icy.

“N-no no!” Sirius amended, “it wasn’t just that. It was—” he turned around with his back to Remus and sat down on the bed. With a now-or-never tone he continued, “I love you.”

Sirius couldn’t see it, but at that Remus finally looked up. “I know I have no right to say that, not after all I’ve done. I wanted to kill Snape because he had what I wanted most in this world. I’d die for you, even kill for you.”

Remus’ eyes widened in horror.

“I saw you two, before the full moon rose. On the lake, with your hands clasped together, laughing. I wanted that. With you, I wanted to be with you like that. So, yes, I'm selfish. It’s the Slytherin Black in me. But I am sorry. Not for loving you.”

Sirius turned his face to meet ocher eyes swirling with dizzying emotions. “I'm sorry, because I hurt you. You loved him. It killed me, but I should have just let it be. At least then, I still had your friendship. Now, I’ve destroyed that too.” He then stood with a destroyed sigh and made his way to the opposite bed that belonged to him.

“Wait.”

Sirius froze in place and turned to face his friend but was surprised to find him less than a foot in front of him. He inwardly smiled at Remus’ uncanny ability to creep - perfect for marauders.

Remus ran his hand through his tawny hair, nervously, “Thank you. I have waited so long for a real reason. It destroyed me to believe that you would so blatantly hurt me just to get a kick out of it.”

He inched closer to Sirius and ran his hand through his hair again, “By _love _did you mean…” he trailed off but Sirius answered anyway, “Yes, I meant…” he wasn’t able to finish it either. “Oh,” was all Remus could manage.

Sirius steeled his nerves and looked up straight into those amber eyes that haunted him day and night.

Remus stepped closer.

The stagnant tension from earlier replaced by static electricity. They were now centimeters apart…

Just as their eyes fluttered shut and they moved to bridge the remaining space, James burst into the dorm.

“Evans is a goddess.” He proclaimed all-knowingly.

Sirius and Remus sprung apart as if burned by the other’s presence. James rambled on oblivious to the tension crackling through the dorm, even the candles flickered restlessly.

“….and then she smiled at me and said, _‘Goodnight James’ _in that voice that drives me nuts!” he fell on his back on his bed, staring dreamily at the ceiling. “I’m telling you guys, she loves me.”

Finally sensing an off-atmosphere he leaned up on his elbows, “Wait. You two are in here alone, and Sirius is _not _dead. I could have sworn I heard voices earlier, and they weren’t loud.” He narrowed his eyes at them, “What gives?” He looked back and forth between them.

He received no response.

The boys in question both got into their respective beds and drew their curtains around them throwing a mumbled goodnight at James.

Frustrated James took his shoes and clothes off, leaving him only in his boxers and also got into his bed. “Wankers, the both of you. Goodnight.” He drew his curtains and settled in for sleep filled with shades of red and green.

-x-


	6. Reflection of A Silver Moon

A star studded moonless night lofted in the heavens giving the earth beneath it an eerie glow. Sirius Black sighed contentedly, stars in his eyes, as he looked up at the twinkling lights over the astronomy tower. Thinking back to the last time he had been on the tower, he shivered and tugged his coat about him, remembering the threatening voice.

“You haven’t jumped yet.” Speak of the devil, or in this case, the bat.

Sirius smirked. “Disappointed?” he asked lowering his head to sneer at the one who broke his peace.

“Apathetic,” was all he got as a reply from his current bane of existence.

Severus walked over to stand next to Sirius and looked up at the stars his face taking on a pensive expression Sirius had never seen on his nemesis before. He spoke, “Nights we used to look up and stare at the sky. He loved the stars and hated the moon; though the funny thing was, he couldn’t draw his eyes away from the moon. Do you know how many stars can be reflected in his eyes on a clear silver night?” he asked his head turned slightly to glare at Sirius who scrunched his face up in thought.

Severus smirked, “It was rhetorical. Though….I know the answer, and until you do,” he turned fully to stare Sirius down, “Don’t even consider yourself worthy of his presence or your love anywhere near adequate.” With a flurry of dark-as-night robes, Snape billowed down to the dungeons.

Or some cave, thought Sirius.

-x-

Fall waned, and winter blew by. Spring jumped out with a burst of robins and dandelions. Remus and Sirius’ relationship has grown, you observe. With a tentative nudge in the right direction, it has become in and of itself, an entity--sentient in its ability to mold its fortunate, for now, victims.

On odd days, if you stayed behind on a Hogsmeade day, you could see them walking together; hands intertwined just enjoying the peace of a quiet castle. With the sun smiling down on them, and a light breeze tickling their hair, you would think that there was nothing more beautiful than Remus’ bright laugh. Then you would look at Sirius’ equally bright smile, eyes sparkling and doubt yourself. But then all that would shatter, in awe of the perfection they presented as they gazed lovingly at each other, nature herself beaming in their abounding love.

Then on that same odd day, you would look down at your pale cold hand tightly grasping a crumpled worn note. Once again, as you have on other odd days, open your fist and smooth it down with your potion stained fingers and read:

> _None. No stars in his eyes, instead he looks at the moon, never looking away. On moonless nights he simply doesn’t look at the sky. Why’d you think I was up there alone?_

You can practically hear the smirk in the last sentence. The missive is unsigned but you know the author. Worse yet, you know the truth in the message. You sigh filled with regret of a great love lost.

Once again golden eyes haunt you, filled with reflections of a silver moon.

-x-x-


End file.
